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No Such Thing as a Clean Slate

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I thought about beginning this blog post with my old standby, but it seems to be not only a bit cliche, but almost as poorly constructed as a sentence you'd stumble over when running into an ex with whom you had a painful and messy breakup.
"Hey.  It's been a while."  
Yeah... as a writer, I'd like to think I'm better than that.  However... the message still stands.  It has been a while.  Too long, in fact.  Let's continue down the uncomfortable conversational path, shall we?
"How have you been?"
Oh, you know.  It's 2016, which should have been my year.  I was born on 3/2.  I turned 32.  And it's 2016, which is exactly half of 32 (not 2016, don't be obtuse).  So it should have been amazing. Right?  It seems only right.
Lots of good people died this year.  Most notably for me was David Bowie.  I wasn't a huge fan of his music, or at least not the most popular albums that he's known for, but The Labyrinth is one of my favorite movies and, when I didn't want to be a vet or Darkness, I wanted to be the goblin king when I grew up (I had lofty goals).  I was pretty devastated by his passing.  Now, my Labyrinth tattoo is almost a cliche, which also makes me a little sad.  At least the quote fits me perfectly.
I've made friends, lost friends.  I had a fantastic tax season at work, got recognized my hard work during season, and promptly ruined my chances of progression through a series of unfortunate events (not the book series, let's not get off on a tangent).  The downward spiral seems to continue.
I can't seem to get my head in the game (god, sports metaphors now).  I don't know what it is, but I feel like I'm going through the motions of life, but not really living.  I also know that this is a common problem, and I should learn to suck it up, but I can't seem to get there right now.  Maybe I just need to set some goals for myself outside of my work life, and try not to let it consume me?  Would that help?  If I could learn to keep to my goals, that would also be a miracle.  Shall we try the short list?  What harm could it do?

Jeni's Goals to Not Fuck Up the Rest of 2016

1.  Drink 3 glasses of water a day.  Seems easy enough, right?  You'd be surprised how many days in a row I've gone without drinking anything.  Really have to watch this one or I'll land back in the hospital.
2.  Write one thing a day.  This one should be cake, but it hasn't been lately.  So I will try harder.
3.  Yoga, or some form of movement throughout the week.  Let's start with 3 days, but I think I can at least do 20 squats a day.
4.  Get the fuck up.  In the morning.  Every day.  Have some fucking coffee.  And kick each day in the ass.  Even the weekends.
5.  Read a little nonfiction every day.  I need to be more well rounded in my reading.  Just not the news.  Talk about depressing.

I don't think any of these goals are out of reach.  You can't wipe the slate clean, but you can create something beautiful and incredible out of what remains behind.  I will hold onto that hope.  That last little hope for the end of the year.  

But hey.  It will be Christmas soon!

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