I have made it a habit of writing myself a letter every few years, when I am going through something particularly trying or have triumphed in some way, sealing it (yes, I own a wax sealing kit, and I'm not afraid to use it!), and stowing it in The Box. I will get to The Box in a later post, so you get the idea of what it takes to have these letters stowed there.
I was digging through the other treasures I have stowed there tonight, looking for something else, when I came upon two letters, both written to myself. One was written in 2007, the other in 2011. I have to say, I am one helluva letter writer, not to mention I give killer advice. I am going to transcribe both letters below. I hope those reading enjoy the things I say to myself.
Note to Self- 02.15.07 (This is ten years ago, which puts me at 22. Keep that in mind when you read it)
Note to Self-
You really are a good person, no matter what you tell yourself at times. It's okay to be afraid of the mountains you have ahead of you- anyone in his right mind would be. You have a lot of great people in your life waiting to love you. Let them in and it will be worth it. Old friends make the best friends, especially as you grow older. Letting go of your past is going to be hard. Do it regardless. You will grow from it. It's better to BE than to SEEM. Honesty is the best policy, especially with yourself. It doesn't really matter what you decide to do, as long it is done with the passion inside of you. Your path will be revealed to you if you open your eyes and your heart. Speaking of your heart, it will heal of past scars. The greatest accomplishment you have is the ones you have done on your own, and the ones who make them the greatest are the ones who stand behind you the entire way to the top. Trusting yourself is the first step to trusting others. Be happy, it is the best way to live. Don't try to be strong all the time. There are people in your life that are there to hold you up when you think you are falling. Reach out, and others will do the same. To thine own self be true. Not everyone will like you; that's okay. Strength comes in many different forms. Be okay with things you are weak in. Use your talents. God gave them to you for a purpose, and it's not to waste them. Take compliments graciously, give them freely. A smile is contagious. The best way to close the distance between two people is to smile. Apologize when you are wrong. Accept apologies that are given from the heart. Feel blessed, because you are. Life each day as if it's your only. Don't regret things you can't change, and try to right wrongs. Don't be lazy on purpose. Take care of business. Make sure that everyone in your life knows they're loved. Rest when you need to. Keep in mind that everyone has their crosses to bear. Hug trees sometimes. Play. Go to the beach and watch the tide come in. Travel. Don't ever forget to watch the sunset. Don't forget the sunrise either. Hold on tight to those who love you. They will slip through your fingers if you let them. Remember that your sister is your blood. Trust her, and she will trust you. Watch the stars. Climb mountains, even if they are little ones. Be good to true love, or it will escape you. Be good to yourself. Love, Jeni. Be loved. And for God's sake, get a pet.
Love,
Yourself
The second letter is from 2011, and it's amazing how much changed. But it's still a great read.
Note to Self, 12.30.2011
Note to Self-
It's been a long year for you. There have been many trials and tribulations, lots of ups and downs. Throughout all of it, you've been strong, stronger than most people have seen. No matter whats has been thrown your way, you have handled it with poise and grace, tried to put the feelings of others in front of your own; a sign that you're finally growing up. Let's take a look at this year's accomplishments:
You've completed two semesters of college. You've worked on running a household. You've survived financial strife, relationship problems, tough times all around. You've moved twice, both unhappy moves filled with stress, the breaking of your household. You've had to leave your own pets behind because of others. You've made and lost friends, had potential amorous relationships come and go. You and Jason have survived, although things have, many times, been tense. You've had a tough year.
You got to paint your first home (it was an apartment, and a shitty one, but hey, who cares?), had two wonderful, sweet dispositioned cats, got closer to Olyvia, had some good days with Jason. You've had many opportunities with many different people. You did a lot of fun things with your family. You've tried harder than you have in years, started to gather the pieces of yourself to make you into the person you are meant to become. Kudos to all of your hard work.
This year, you should focus on yourself. You are a good person. Let other people see how good you can be. Wean out the boys in your life, and only keep the ones that are good for you. That includes getting rid of old baggage, and learning to forgive those who have hurt you in the past. That doesn't mean you have to speak to those people ever again, but you must learn to forgive. Only then can you truly love another. Stop trying to focus on everyone else, what you think everyone else wants from you. What do you want from yourself? What would you like to accomplish this year? Work on building your incredible plethora of talents, like your writing. If things break your focus, maybe they're not worth keeping around. Answer your phone. Find something you really like doing and make it a habit to make time for that one thing. Enjoy the simple pleasures in life. Learn to live in the middle; don't do anything in excess. Work out, do yoga, make sure you feel good. Take care of your health. Make time for a vacation, maybe even one alone. Set yourself up to buy a house. Don't wait for Prince Charming; prove that you can be your own Prince. Stop being the advocate for the underdog, and find someone who is worth your time. Don't go looking for this person. When the time is right, he will be there. Stop worrying about men. They come and go, and they're all going to have their own faults. You'll find one that's good for you.
Your goals this year should include getting and staying fit. Find a job you can deal with until you finish school. Focus on your writing talents, and finish the projects you've started. Start painting again. Grow your hair out, let your hair down. Don't make and break plans, but make plans you intend to keep. Make sure those who are worth your time have a place in your heart, and weed out those who aren't good for you and want to hold you back. Give people a chance to see the person you can be, instead of the person you've let yourself become. It's never to late to be what you might have been. Most of all, take care of yourself this year. Make this time about you. Everything else will find a way.
Love,
Yourself.
What do you think about the vast differences in these letters? Also, what do you think of the idea of writing yourself letters? I have found these profoundly helpful, and shall update on what advice I've followed.
Tomorrow's post: The Box. You can't tell me you aren't curious. I know you're lying.
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